(Side-note: I should let you know in advance this post is a complete failure. After intending to write about my health, I became enamored with an afternoon of dealing with the health of my 2000 VW Jetta. If you'd like to do something meaningful with the next 5 minutes of your life, please don't read this.)
Scene 1: Int. Car Wash Place:
I suppose it's been a while since I've updated anyone regarding my health. And apparently, now is the time. I'm sitting in the car wash watching my filthy car get cleaned. Back in December, I had a flat tire and procrastinated getting it fixed. Well... then "Snowpacolypse" and "Snowpacolyspe 2: This Time it's Personal" occurred so I just decided to let the car take a 3 month breather under about 14 inches of snow. In the words of FDR, it's time for a vehicular 'Return to Normalcy'.
Yesterday I uncovered my car (nicknamed "Sacajawea Free Karate" for reasons I can't even begin to unfold right now), prayed that it would actually start (it did!), and changed the flat tire. Today I'm returning the car to livable standards by having other people vacuum it out for me. I'm eyeing them talking with one another, then casting small, but loaded glances in my direction... I'm secretly afraid they are making comments about my personal hygiene due to the amount of cat hair that piles up in the car over time. Maybe when I go get the car I should make a reference about the cats. Or would that make it worse because then I'm the guy with 2 cats who feels the need to tell strangers about them...
Scene Change to the drive-thru Oil place:
Just had my oil changed. Every time I get my oil changed, I feel like I'm being completely swindled. They start telling me that I need to replace parts on my car that I didn't even know existed. There's a woman near my window who is continually yelling things. I figure out that she's communicating with the workers below my car. It's a ballet of verbal checks and balances that, more than anything, is probably intended to make me feel like they know what they're doing. However, on occasion, one of the comments is yelled at me. Then she reprimands me for not paying attention. I think they just tried to sell me tires which I did not see coming at the "oil change" place. However, this was an easy answer because I am going to the tire place next to get the flat replaced...
Scene Change to the Tire Shop:
I told the guy that I needed to replace the flat in my trunk. He pulled up my records and told me that if I would have been bringing the car in to get the tires rotated (free service), the warranty would still be in place and I could have a free tire. Considering this guy's profession, I felt bad telling this guy that rotating my tires every X,000 miles is so low on my priority list that I don't even worry about it any more. I have officially crossed this item off my list of things to worry about before eventually procrastinating.
I'm sitting in the shop looking out over the tire bay when I notice the giant scratch on the driver door. It reminds me of about 6 years ago when I was driving to Amy's sister's house in Dayton, Ohio. I was driving way too fast through a giant snow storm (probably the prequel to Snowpacolypse) when I came up to a hairpin turn in the middle of backroads Ohio. Anyway, it's the only time I've ever gone off the road due to driving conditions. I went into a ditch where I received this giant scratch. But that's all that happened. The tow truck pulled me out and I just kept on driving. However, this reminds me I'm still a little ticked because the tow truck guy removed the little grate on the front of my Jetta in order to tow it and now it looks like Sacajawea Free Karate is missing a front tooth. I've been to busy to chase a replacement down.
All that to say... I'm out of time. I'll come back tomorrow and update everyone on my health! But I can tell you now that, overall, it's good! And now for no good reason, you have an idea on the health of my car.
I apologize for wasting your time but it appears I needed a little warm up to get back to the ol' blog.
